Married! Finally!

Always unconventional, and we love it that way!

We have spent the last 19 years together, navigating this journey, building a life, creating a home that started as just me and 3 kiddos and 3 cats.

As a single mom, my life was busy. James was long haul trucking, gone for 3+ weeks a time, and we built our relationship on long distance calls and texts. Remember when there weren’t unlimited cell plans and out of network charges? Yeah, so do our wallets! But clearly, it was so worth it!

We believe those hard away from each other times laid the solid foundation for what was to come. 3 more kids, 6 more cats, 4 dogs, loss, struggle, blended family life, buying a home, building businesses, sending kids off to college and life, it was a lot, There were things that challenged us and so much more to live, laugh, love, and celebrate.

I can’t imagine doing this without each other.

A lot of people assumed we have been married a long time. Even we don’t know what’s taken so long, other than we were busy living and loving life. At times, it felt like more of a priority than others. Planning was not exciting for either of us. Neither was navigating very large families and friends groups. Once the older kids moved out, planning a wedding became even trickier.

And then I saw someone on Instagram share their self-solemnization wedding and I thought it was perfection. When James said, “let’s do it!”, it was like a weight was lifted off our shoulders and finally we were making it happen. We let go of what we felt were other people’s expectations, rallied the kids, and kept it secret from everyone so that we could enjoy our day, our way.

That was July 23rd. Which gave us 3 weeks and a couple of days to pull it all together. VRBO, flights for 7 of us, Suburban, marriage license application, dogs boarded, cat caretaker, clothes, grocery lists, and all the miscellaneous things. All around baseball games and tourney’s, back to school prep, playdates, pool care, and all the things. My head was spinning but I was so full of excitement that none of it mattered! But also, the hardest and most exhilarating secret to keep and to force kids to keep!

August 18th, our plane took off in Fargo (thank goodness for adult kids and big kids because this could have been way more complicated!) and landed in Denver.

We grabbed our rented Suburban and navigated our way through the city – starving, dehydrated, and in late day traffic – stopped for some Taco Bell and McDonalds – kid staples and we are not fancy, then took the scenic road up the mountain to Bailey Lodge in Bailey, Colorado.

It had been about 10 months since I saw Hannah, and since their wedding that I saw Evan, so the excitement was a little extra for me! They had arrived just a bit before us and opened things up so we were able to just enjoy ourselves for the evening. It had been FOR-EV-ER since our whole family was together under one roof. If you know how full a mama’s heart can feel – this was one of those moments.

The view was stunning, the house was gorgeous, the laughs and fun and togetherness was everything!

James and I got up early on the 19th, drove back into the city to pick up our marriage license, grab some groceries, and head back to the house. While he’s always been my Forever, these few hours together of just us felt a bit brand new and extra special before we made things official.

Later in the afternoon, we dressed ourselves up a little bit, Keira was a great flower girl, we then stood on the deck with an amazing backdrop, said a few things, cried a lot of tears – because I’m super sappy that way – but I also saw a few of the kids the same way, they get that from me – James dropped my ring off the balcony – for real, you’ll see it in the video below – so we had some laughs too. We took some pictures, had sparkling juice, ate some awesome cookies that Hannah’s friend made, signed our certificate, changed back into our relaxing clothes, grilled dinner, played games, had the music going, and just hung out as my favorite family in the whole world!

I’m crying as I type. Oh. My. Heart. When your kiddos all get along and have great personalities and jokes and enjoy being together, it’s everything.

In there somewhere, James and I made simple texts with photos to our immediate families and shared our news! (It didn’t become “FB official” until a few days later) It’s not often we get to surprise everyone, so it was extra fun.

After a decent night of sleep, we were awake early to pack up, load up, and head back to the airport. The fastest vacation we will ever have but worth it beyond measure.

It was perfect.

When we let go of other people’s expectations and social “norms” and just leaned into what was most important to the two of us and our kids, perfection found us. We met again in our 30s, raised a family in our 40s, and got married in our 50’s. On August 19th, we celebrated 19 years together with a wedding!

I’m still in a bit of awe! I have so many amazing days in my life, so much to be grateful for, but this day, above all else, will forever hold the most special place in my heart.

I love you, James. You are my everything and together we get to embrace our whole world – all of them. We’ve made an amazing family, built and amazing life together, and every day is an adventure I love living alongside you.

Thank you for loving me, my kids, our kids, this life. THIS LIFE!!

XOXO, Heidi